Lord of the Remix
by WriteAway
Summary: NEW CHAPTER UP, FANS! Okay, maybe not as many fans as I would like, but hey... Why not?So just read the new chapter and review it. There are way more hits than reviews, adn I wanna see some more reviews. 'Kay?
1. Chapter 1

Lord of The Remix

Chapter 1

"Romeo, Romeo. Where art thou Romeo?"

Juliet screeched on the top of her lungs from her room's balcony. As if Romeo had nothing better to do than answer to her.

"I'm right hear, my love."

A voice cooed, from beneath Juliet's balcony. Juliet took a break from brushing her too thick and way locks to peer into the garden below. There she found a beautiful rooster called Chicken, who was preening himself.

"Your not Romeo!" hollered Juliet

"But I'm better." replied chicken

"NO YOU'RE NOT!" boomed Juliet, and kicked Chicken into another dimension.

"Frodo, Frodo. Where art thou Frodo?" yelled Aragorn in his deep voice

"I'm right here buddy old pal" said a near by voice, which on closer inspection turned out to be Chicken.

"By my beard!" exclaimed Gimli while stroking his beard, "You've grown my boy!"

"By my ears!" exclaimed Legolas while poking Chicken, "Since when did you have feathers?"

"Puberty?" Chicken tried

"That is not Frodo." boomed Aragorn to his pals, "You're not Frodo." he said to Chicken

"But I'm better." replied Chicken

The way the traveling tri cornered him with glaring eyes, and balled up fits showed what the did not say. Obviously he was not better.

"Should I do the honors?" asked Legolas, already putting a string to his bow.

"NO! I WANNA KILL HIM!" screamed Gimli

"I asked first." said Legolas simply

Gimli responded by tackling Legolas, and proceeded to punch him. Legolas gamely fought back. Aragorn began to simmer after 5 minutes of the bickering. Chicken moved away from Aragorn, deciding that pretending to be Frodo would not improve his temper.

"I'LL JUST DO IT!" Aragorn finally yelled, and in a very rumpled manner, kicked Chicken out.

Aragorn who was very red and un noble looking then turned slowly to glare at Gimli and Legolas.

"He started it." whispered Legolas, quietly trying to justify his actions without causing Aragorn to blow.

Aragorn blew.

Later on, the trio proceeded to travel.

"That counted as my point because it was my idea to kill the rooster." Legolas whispered in Gimli's ear.

The two were gamely trying to keep up while Aragorn strode in front of them.

"No it isn't" replied Gimli

"Yes it is"

"No it isn't"

"Yes it is"

"NO IT ISN'T" screamed Gimli, who was beginning to lose his temper.

"YES IT IS" sang Legolas in an annoying opera voice

That just about did it. Faster then the eye could trace, the two were on the ground wrestling. Aragorn sighed and sat on a mossy rock.

"Good grief!" said Aragorn wearily

Charlie Brown then appeared with a pouty expression on his face.

"That's my line!" he growled into Aragorn's face

"That is it!" roared Aragorn

Steam began to pour out of his ears. Suddenly everything within a one mile radius became silent. Legolas froze in mid punch and helped Gimli up. They thought it was about time to continue their hike.


	2. Chapter 2

Lord of The Remix

Chapter 1

"Romeo, Romeo where art thou Romeo?" hollered Juliet

This time she was painting her finger nails.

"I'm right here my dear." a voice spoke

Juliet quickly peeked below her balcony, and gave a quick reply.

"Wanna follow the rooster?"

Cow left hurriedly.

The trio were currently hiking through a forest outside of a village. Legolas and Gimli had so far been very good at behaving since Aragorn's last explosion. The two had become very fidgety with no substitute for their fighting. Finally Gimli just couldn't take it any longer.

"Ha!" said Gimli, killing a passing villager "I get another point."

"So do I!" said Legolas, after shooting Gimli

The Legolas grabbed the now still Gimli and began to drag him away. With the caring words of:

"Come on Gimli, stop lagging behind."

Once Gimli had been revived by the nearest village healer, the trio continued their journey. As they walked through a field of flowers, Legolas stomped ferociously on a nearby flower.

"My point."

"Is not" replied Gimli

"Is too"

"Is not"

"Is too"

Gimli then tackled Legolas and the two were fighting faster than you are reading this sentence. Aragorn watched the two tangle and sat down on a rock.

"Good Gr-"

Charlie Brown appeared looking threatening with a pitchfork in his hands.

"Fine" said Aragorn, throwing his hands up in the air "I won't say it!"

Charlie Brown retreated to where he was before.


	3. OF SONG!

-1Note to readers: Check out my other story, Harry Potter and the PomPom of Doom!

Lord of the Remix

Chapter 1

Haha

It was not too long before the infamous trio were back on their feet and hiking towards the next town. I mean, how long could they go without food and water. Not that there weren't squirrels for the eating, but Legolas was a vegetarian and he needed to be fed. I know what you're thinking. Why doesn't he just eat grass? And you know what I'm thinking? That you need to stop thinking and start reading more of my story. And, as I was saying before you distracted me with your thoughts, they were walking to the town…

"I'm tired," moaned Gimli, twirling his beard

"Are we there yet?" asked Legolas

"Owww!" yelped Gimli as he tried to undo the knot he had just created in his beard.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the elf

"Die, pointy ears!"

The two began to pull each other's hair silently as to not tick of Aragorn. Speaking of Aragorn, he was walking at a determined pace, keeping his face forward. He made a deliberate effort to not look at the bickering buddies, but it was still getting to him. As Strider walked, he grinded his teeth. _Grindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrind._

It was not long before the even tempered ranger began to turn red. _Grindgrindgrindgrindgrind._ Oh yeah, I forgot. _Turns red turns red red red redder!_ Eventually, the dueling duo began to notice their companion's discomfort at their squabbling. So, they stopped and meekly let go of one another's hair. They were uncomfortably silent for a while, until Legolas thought of one thing that could cheer up his pal.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, I am psychic, don't ask me again. AND STOP DISTURBING ME WITH YOUR THOUGHTS! Where was I? Oh yeah, I know what you're thinking. There is only one thing that LOTR characters do when they are: pissed, bored, tired, hungry, dyeing, and when in doubt. They sing a song. And so, our little Legolas begins to sing.

"Here's a song they sing in my country when we are ticked off because two of our best buds are fighting and we are all hungry tired bored angry have been running for days on end and are furious because we have no clue what happened to Frodo! And now I shall sing!" Legolas said happily, though the other two had tuned out at "Here's a song"

"_Hooble blach and hooble blay_

_Water horses 'n give 'em hay_

_Ride 'em till they're gonna drop_

_Drink that beer till you're gonna pop_

_For when there are orcs to slay_

_Nobody may rest, 'kay?_

_To slay and kill, to torture and slew_

_To chop, mutilate, and run through_

_We gonna kill every orc_

_And use them as a substitute for pork_

_Aragorn do not despair_

_You can always pull Gimli's hair!"_

"Hey!" called Gimli.

But, Aragorn's complexion was already pink and on its way to his normal skin tone. Which, I hope, was not pink.

The moral of the chapter: When in doubt, SING!


End file.
